


What is Thirty Years Without a Sister?

by chiefbeifong



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, Siblings, Sisters, if you saw me crying writing this no you didnt, yeah so this is emo as SHIT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:35:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26533708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiefbeifong/pseuds/chiefbeifong
Summary: Lin and Suyin wake up after nearly dying by Kuvira's hand in the Day of the Colossus. When they realize the severity of the situation, they make admissions to one another that they realize should have been said three decades ago.
Relationships: Lin Beifong & Suyin Beifong
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So me and my friend decided to get even more emo about the Beifong sisters. We wrote this a little differently than I see other fics posted on AO3 - we like writing POVs together. I write Lin's POV, and my friend writes Suyin's POV! I would make this a one-shot but I'm afraid I'd take away too much of my friend's writing and I really like what we did together :) So I suggest you read these as an entire work, but I split them into chapters so you could distinctly see who's POV is who's.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! And as always, this is missbeifong on Tiktok. If you want to cry about the Beifongs with me or leave feedback, leave a comment or hop on my Tiktok.

**LIN’S POV.**

It happens all so quickly. One moment they’re  _ proud _ to have disabled the weapon and caused more internal damage. The next, they’re suddenly moving.  _ Kuvira knows we’re here,  _ Lin thinks, and knows they’ll be hurling through the air at any moment. Without the weapon functioning, the arm is dead weight and Kuvira will want it gone. She watches Suyin’s head slam against the wall. Her sister goes limp. Lin can’t do anything but think fast  — they’re about to go flying. She metalbends the walls, strapping both her and Su to it. It’s the only way they might get out of this alive. She doesn’t remember much, because once they land, everything goes black. 

Lin awakens with a groan, head throbbing. But she’s faced dangerous situations like this before. She forces herself to become hyper-aware of her surroundings.  _ Snap out of your grogginess, Lin! _ She starts to remember where she is, moving her arms to feel the metal wrapped around her. Lin’s head turns to see Suyin, and it all sharply comes back to her. 

Su isn’t moving.  _ She isn’t moving.  _

Lin immediately metalbends herself out of the wall, feet slamming to the ground to feel the earth. Her ribs ache but she can’t feel it because all she can think about is Su. Lin doesn’t panic  — she can’t. Her body will go into shock, and that’s the  _ last _ thing she needs. 

Her mind goes back to earlier in the battle, when she had been with President Raiko and had watched Kuvira fire her weapon at the building where her entire family was located. Everyone she loved was in that building,  _ and she wasn’t with them. _ She would be all alone. The chief had rushed over as fast as she could.  _ Everyone’s probably dead,  _ she assumed, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try her hardest to pull them out from the rubble, no matter what. It was a miracle they were alive. She hopes she doesn’t need a miracle again. They’re hard to come by. 

She metalbends Suyin out of the wall carefully, catching her sister’s body in her arms and trying her best to hold her weight despite her own extensive injuries. 

“Hey.” She’s not opposed to slapping her to wake her up -- she did that to Tenzin once, but Lin opts to shake her instead. And again. And again. Lin finds herself about to _lose it_ , ready to tear down the earth until a groan emits from Suyin’s mouth. Her body begins to move. The pit in Lin’s stomach alleviates, a relieved sigh escaping her lips. 

“Don’t  _ ever _ scare me like that again, Su.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suyin's POV.

She is not weak. No daughter of Toph Beifong is weak. She stands up for her family. She fights the good fight. Suyin goes with her sister because they have to.  _ Together _ they can defeat Kuvira. 

Besides, Kuvira wouldn’t  _ kill _ her. Suyin believes that. She does. She keeps telling herself that, even when her head  _ slams _ into the metal wall, knocking her out. She’s my  _ daughter _ . She won’t let me die. She wouldn’t.  _ She loves me. _ She wouldn’t. 

She thinks of her son. Her beloved little boy, the quiet inventor wanting to be just like his father. She thinks of the heartache in his eyes. She thinks of what it was like to hold him as the wall  _ collapsed _ as they almost died. 

When Lin came, did she expect to find their bodies? Would she have left her sister all alone? In the darkness, there’s memories. The  _ scar _ . She never said sorry, did she? What if she died? What if she died without telling her sister she was sorry? She is so, so sorry for what she did,  _ for being a stupid child. _ She remembers Baatar, her husband, his  _ face. _ She remembers her mother, the  _ disappointment _ in her eyes. Why does she only remember that face? Spirits . . . if she dies, please let Lin rest easy. Let her family guide Lin, because it’s her family, too.

Something  _ breaks _ inside of her when it hits that Kuvira would  _ let her lie. _ Like the spirits themselves have entered her soul, she coughs — awake in the arms of her sister. Suyin reaches up, half-smiling as blood covers her mouth. 

“You think I’d leave you alone? Knowing how  _ you _ dress? You need me.” She’s trying to be funny as she regains her strength, but Suyin can’t stop thinking about Kuvira. Another cough as she stands, reaching to Lin. 

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is missbeifong on tiktok! leave some feedback if you wish :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lin's POV.

Before Suyin shows signs of consciousness, a million things go through Lin Beifong’s mind. The first is their family. Suyin’s the one who holds them all together. As  _ lavish _ as the title of the Matriarch is, it truly does mean something. Lin always felt like she had a shadow of a mother, but for niece and nephews to not have one? It’s a topic she wouldn’t know how to handle. 

The second feeling that swallows her is intense regret. Lin’s life has been filled with regrets. She has been consumed by bitterness, and it lingers still. 

The biggest by far is the thirty year gap wedged between their relationship.  _ That’s all on her. _ She is glad she set some sort of boundary between them after the  _ incident _ , but to go silent for three decades? Lin took away time that she could have spent with a family she pretended didn’t exist. It’s a family that now completes her. 

Lin scoffs at Suyin’s comment, but with how high the stakes have been, with all the  _ shit _ they’ve gone through...it draws a smirk, and then even a chuckle. “Woah, slow down,” she says when Suyin takes her hand for support to stand. Lin guides it down so they can sit and rest against the metal wall. Her other arm hugs her own midsection. The pain is beginning to throb more intensely. But she’d have to be dead before admitting she’s hurting.

“You were out cold for awhile. Let’s take a minute.” This isn’t very fitting for a Beifong to say — they’re always told to  _ keep moving _ , no matter what — but Lin just feels lucky that her sister is alive and breathing. “The weapon hasn’t fired since we came to. I don’t wanna chance it, but I’m gonna guess it’s been taken down.” It’s also eerily quiet. Enough for Lin to guess that Kuvira’s reign of terror has come to an end. 

She feels the wind hit her face, letting the silence settle. With what seems like a pause that lasts forever, Lin Beifong, for once in her life, allows her emotions to take over. 

“I don’t know what would have happened if I lost you, Su.” It comes out awkwardly. But she powers through the embarrassment of being vulnerable. “I wasted a lot of . . . time . . . being angry for so long. I  _ needed _ silence for a bit after what happened, but . . . I shouldn’t have let it last for thirty years. I’m . . . sorry.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is missbeifong on tiktok! leave some feedback if you wish :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suyin's POV.

What is thirty years without a sister? Without the person she grew up with, without a friend, without someone who was  _ always _ in your corner? How much anger and resentment had she carried for so long? Suyin couldn’t even remember what it was even like to have Lin in her life. What is thirty years? It’s a wedding, a dressed-up bride eagerly watching the door,  _ hoping _ her sister will come (she’s probably late, right?).  _ She doesn’t come. _ What is thirty years? The birth of her son, and a letter sent to Republic City. An invitation to his first birthday. A day she watches the door until the sun sets. When her husband tells her to come to bed,  _ she doesn’t come. _ What is thirty years? It is Opal’s fourth birthday, when her family feels so complete that Suyin writes another letter to Lin,  _ begging _ her to come.  _ Our family can’t be complete without you. _ Again, Suyin watches the door. She watches for Lin. She doesn’t come. 

It’s her fault. The guilt is heavy. For years, she carries it. She talks about it with Baatar, in the whispers of the night. But it’s not something she can fix. So she learns to forget it. Suyin hears about Lin, of course. The papers from Republic City reach her doorstep. She wants to reach out, but she cannot take the heartache of another ignored letter. So she forgets about it. Suyin is engrossed in her own work, her family.  _ Even if it has always been missing Lin. _

“I’m alright, Lin. I don’t need a minute.” She balances herself slowly until she’s standing up straight and breathing.  _ She’s fine _ . She’s alive.  _ Lin is alive. _ For a moment, there’s silence. Lin speaks, and Suyin turns to face her. There is little time where Lin is  _ open  _ — Suyin carries every emotion in her expression, but it’s not the same for her sister. It never has been. To Su, Lin is indestructible,  _ unbreakable, _ until Suyin injures her. Before that, she’s sure her sister is made of titanium from the way she acts. To see her vulnerable now . . . it lets go of the weight on her chest. 

“You didn’t lose me.” She’s quick to point that out, hugging her chest as she listens. “You  _ know _ not a day went by when I didn’t think of you. I should have — I meant to tell you I was sorry for — for what I did to you. Your . . . scar. It wasn’t right, Lin. Just because I was young . . . it still wasn’t right. I’m sorry, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is missbeifong on tiktok! leave some feedback if you wish :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lin's POV.

She is bitterness defined. It was hard for thirty years to forget why she was angry, because a single glance in the mirror reminded her all over again. So she holds onto it, nourishing it. It’s a monster inside of her. The first time a letter is delivered to her desk (she’s  _ Chief Beifong _ , now), she reads it in her entirety. She even considers the notion of attending the wedding. And then she passes by a mirror, sees her reflection, and the idea becomes null. Tenzin brings it up, and she answers with a sharp  _ no. _ None of their friends bring it up again. On the date Lin knows her sister is to be wed, she weeps alone in her room as she always does. 

The next letter comes with the promise of an addition to the family.  _ Some family _ , Lin thinks,  _ of which I was never a part. _ She demands to her secretary that the next letter — and all future letters — addressed from Suyin Beifong should be promptly discarded. She doesn’t bother reading the other ones. The bitterness festers. 

But Lin sees now that to drag this pain on for thirty years was incredibly detrimental. Yes, she needed time alone for awhile, but . . . not isolation. The older they get, the more  _ selfish _ Lin feels.  _ I could have had thirty more years with her. I could have had thirty more years with them.  _ But it goes unsaid.

_You didn’t lose me._ Suyin’s right in saying that (though she did lose thirty years of her, and it’s her biggest regret) _._ A lot of ghosts haunt Lin after all the cases she’s dealt with over the years as the Chief of Police. _What if I was a second too late? What if I had tripped? What if I wasn’t fast enough?_ She doesn’t drive herself mad like that anymore. But there’s a difference between the citizens she’s serving and her _sister_. Suyin’s words remind her to nip that fear in the bud.

But her sister’s next admission throws her off. It’s something she never thought she’d hear. Her face grows a bit paler, breath hitches in her throat. C _an her sister feel her heartbeat the way their mother could?_ _Because it’s pounding_. Lin swallows. She can’t tell her that _it’s okay_ , because Suyin’s right — it’s not. 

“That was . . . a long time ago, Su.” It’s all she can manage. But she hopes her sister picks up on what she means.  _ Don’t dwell on it. Don’t let it become a demon like I let it become mine. _ “But . . . thank you.” Her remaining hand goes to the back of her beck. She finds it hard to look her sister in her eyes. “I don’t know how to ever . . .  _ make up _ for what I did.” One can’t pay back with time. It’s gone forever. “You’ve lost a lot in this fight. Just know that you aren’t losing me again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is missbeifong on tiktok! leave some feedback if you wish :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suyin's POV.

For a moment, she’s transported years back to before her mistake, before their fallout.  _ She’s eight years old. _ The daughter of Toph Beifong has an image to keep up, but she just wants to run around with her older sister. Lin is an unstoppable force to the little girl. Even at fourteen, Lin is defined. She’s strong. What is Suyin, except a little lost, following in the footsteps of giants. How long has she wanted to run out of the door and never look back?  _ Flash forward _ . She leaves without so much as a goodbye, and she’s sent to her grandparents (Suyin didn’t say sorry yet. How could her mom let her leave without saying sorry?).  _ Flash forward _ . She’s on a pirate ship, she’s with sandbenders, with the circus (she still hasn’t managed to say sorry. Why can’t she say it?). When she builds Zaofu and finally settles down, she hears about her sister —  _ the chief, you say? _ _ I always know she’d follow in Mom’s footsteps. Is she happy?  _ **_She tries._ **

The memory lights up like a flashbulb. A young Opal plays outside, and Suyin brings the pen and paper outside. This type of letter shouldn’t be written in an office . . . that’s too impersonal. She listens to her daughter laugh, and she begins to write again.  _ Dear Lin, it’s been years. _ No, what if Lin just throws it out immediately?  _ Dear Lin, how ard you? _ No. Lin won’t answer. Suyin stops. The sun makes Opal look angelic. This girl  **deserves** to know her aunt. Her hand turns back to the paper.  _ Dear Lin, I’m sorry. _ Opal cries, and the paper is momentarily forgotten. The wind picks it up. By the time Suyin has consoled her daughter, the letter is gone.  _ It doesn’t matter. She wouldn’t have read it, anyway. _

It was a long time ago. Thirty years. Thirty years.  _ They could have had thirty years together.  _ What if Suyin had died — right here, right now? How could she face the spirits knowing she had left  _ Lin? _ Why couldn’t she have said sorry when she  _ needed _ to? She can’t go back in time. She wants to. How  _ badly _ Suyin wishes that time could be undone. How many memories she she picture her sister in now? Suyin is smiling,  _ smiling _ because she knows Lin has forgiven her. But the tear on her cheek reminder her that this could have been them  **years** ago. She turns away from Lin. She can’t face her. Just like a coward would. 

_“Everything I’ve lost_ — ” she stops. The _guilt_. Her voice breaks. She didn’t love her son the right way. She didn’t love Kuvira the right way. She didn’t love her sister enough to apologize thirty years ago. Suyin has loved in all the wrong ways. “I can’t lose you, Lin. I’ve lost . . . I’ve lost more than you know. “ She’s a mother who’s failed. “It’s _me_ who has to make up for everything Lin.” She can’t look her sister in the eye. She can’t. How _beautiful_ Lin is. Even with the scar . . . even _more_ with the scar. Suyin shakes. What if she had died because of her mistake? “I have been a bad mentor, a bad mother, but . . . I failed you as a sister, Lin. I can’t take anymore loss. And I promise you, I will _never_ hurt you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is missbeifong on tiktok! leave some feedback if you wish :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lin's POV.

It’s not that she wanted to know how her sister was doing. _She didn’t_. Lin didn’t want _anything_ to do with her. But she has always read the newspaper paired with a black coffee every morning — her daily routine — and Suyin has sometimes made the headlines. The Beifongs tend to do that. All children of those who saved the world do. When Tenzin broke up with her, the headlines were ruthless. **LIN BEIFONG REFUSES TO ADVANCE THE AIR NATION.** Did Suyin ever read that? Did _that_ headline make it to Zaofu? And her job only brought more. **THE** **REPUBLIC CITY POLICE FAILS TO CATCH CRIMINAL** _._ Of course, for Suyin, the headlines have always been glowing with praise. **DAUGHTER OF TOPH BEIFONG BEGINS CONSTRUCTION OF GROUND-BREAKING METAL CITY, ZAOFU.** They continued throughout the years, and Lin _never_ read the full articles. The headline was enough to make her steer clear. **SUYIN BEIFONG MAKES STRIDES IN METALBENDING ADVANCEMENTS.** All of the positive praise stuns Lin. _Did everyone just forget what she did and what she did to me? Oh, of course they did. The public has no idea, thanks to Mom._ And it reignites the bitterness again. It fuels it for another decade.

Maybe Lin  _ should _ have read those letters. She regrets it sometimes, how easily she discarded them as if they were nothing. Maybe if she actually  _ read _ the articles in the newspaper, she would’ve realized her sister  _ had _ changed. Lin hasn’t asked Suyin what the letters contained. She never will. It will hurt too much — a slap in her face reminding her of all she had lost in thirty years. What experiences had she missed? Lin always knew she’d never be a mother, has never desired kids, but she’s  _ proud _ when she sees her niece and nephews succeed in life. Maybe she would’ve minded dealing with them when they were little. Perhaps she would’ve  _ enjoyed _ it. But she never got the chance. And the worst part is . . . she’s pretty sure Suyin gave it to her. 

Lin’s not good at handling emotional conversations of any sort. This admission and apology from Suyin . . . it strikes her right where it hurts, right in that spot that’s been aching for thirty years. She used to be so protective of her little sister, trying to stop at every turn when trouble arose. Lin’s mind goes blank. Has Suyin said this all before in her letters? It’s all Lin’s wanted to hear. For thirty years, it’s everything she’s desired. And Lin doesn’t even have the decency to give an acceptable reply.

“Hey . . .” It ekes out of her lips slowly, a bit awkwardly. Lin can’t look Suyin in the eye either, until her thumb points to her scar. “It’s fine. It even helps sometimes — scares the rookies.” An attempt at a joke to level the intensity that Lin is more capable of handling. She smirks a bit, finally beginning to get the strength back onto her feet. Her arm quickly stretches out to Suyin to get some support. A bit of shame spikes through her for that — Lin’s always been one to conceal her injuries until the battle’s over. She doesn’t like accepting help. It shows weakness. At least Lin’s the more injured of the two. At least her last-minute attempt at saving them worked. 

“You good to walk?” It’s funny she’s even asking that question when  _ she’s  _ the one about to topple over. 


End file.
